


Sophomore Year Never Ends

by youngvolcannoes



Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: College, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-01 18:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14527065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngvolcannoes/pseuds/youngvolcannoes
Summary: Most of Gerard's life is composed of writing, doing assignments, and trying to make his way as an artist. He's been hiding in the shadows all of the first semester of college, and every day still feels like the first day to him. But will new relationships break through his hard metal shell? Who knows, let's find the fuck out!





	1. Prologue

Gerard slowly walked down the street. 

It was raining pretty heavy now, and he had forgotten to bring an umbrella. It wasn't too big of a deal to him, though he was afraid his new hair dye would get washed out.

Brake lights on cars and street lights lit up the puddles on the sidewalk. "This," Gerard thought out loud. "Could be a beautiful painting."

Cue Baker Street.

But Gerard had no time to think about new paintings now. His college final, a short poem, was due in about 3 days. So far, he had only written one line down.

The name of the poem was, "The Devil, and Saint Kerosene"

Due to the suggestive theme of the poem, Gerard expected a Big Fat F on that. His teacher was a old white lady, and you know how they are.

Gerard wrapped his scarf more tight around his neck. He was afraid to wear it because he'd thought it make him "look gay", or whatever that meant. Plus, it was 3 am, everyone was at their dorms, so why would he care?

Gerard started to head to Pound Hall, where his dorm was. The hall was very dimly lit and eerie, and gave him the feeling of being stabbed at any moment. "Wasn't the first time that had happened here.", he thought.

After walking around the halls for some bit, Gerard heard someone yell. The noise made him jump, creaking the floorboards of the hallway. He started walking even faster, but the yells just became louder, and now, 2 of them were yelling.

He couldn't make out anything they were saying, but he was afraid to actually know what was going on.

He thought about running to his room at the speed of sound, just like he did when he was a kid, and turned off the light in the hallway and ran to get back to his bedroom before "the demons" got him.

His roommate, Ray Toro, a ethics student, would probably scream at him till he'd go death for not helping them.

"It's just not morally correct!", Gerard imagined him ranting, at his chalkboard, while he talked about Aristotle or Kant or Some-Old-Dude-From-80- Bazillion-Years-Ago. "You should help people however you can. You have to find the middle between being completely selfish and giving away all you have. "

Maybe Ray was right. Maybe he should go help them.

Gerard ran down to the courtyard, where the two were fighting.

They were both in poses, looking like they were about to actually fist fight.

One of them had black hair, but dyed blonde sides. Some of his hair fell in his face. He had a pale face, and a very small nose for a guy. He had two black gauges, and a silver lip ring that shone like a diamond under the moonlight.

On the other hand, the girl looked less scared then the dude. She had arched eyebrows, and big brown eyes. Dark hair that came up to her chin. Sort of a big nose too, but she made it work.

"God Frank, you just- You're always so awkward around me! Like- Like we've just met. Like...we're strangers.", she yelled at him. He was clearly not phased by it.

"if you don't fucking like me, then what are we even doing?", he yelled at her, his arms shooting in the air.

Gerard was on the sidelines, and they both hadn't noticed he was here yet.

Well, maybe until about 8 seconds later.

The girl walked up to him, with confidence oozing out of her, more and more with every step.

"Who the hell are you?" She stuck her face right up in Gerard's, and he couldn't even find the words to say.

"I-i-i-", he tried to speak, but all that came out was gibberish. "I just wanted to see what all the mass pandemonium was about. I just- I really just wanted to help." He was sweating bullets, and his stomach was doing flips like it was Alicia Sacramone or something.

The girl lifted her eyebrows.

"Please," Gerard began. "Just stop fighting! I'm sure you two can find common ground." 

They both looked at Gerard like he was insane.

"Fine, then. "Help" us.", the guy said, obviously not McLovin this.

"It just sounds like you guys should break up. Wasn't meant to be, alright?" He looked at like an audience he just performed an out of tune cover of Stairway To Heaven to. 

They pondered on this for a bit, and sat down on the cold concrete. The girl brought out a pack of cigarettes, and they both smoked for about 3 minutes, and then stubbed them in a puddle from the previous rain.

"You know what," the girl began, finally breaking the awkward silence. "Maybe the kids right. I like your peace-making attitude kid. I'm Jamia. The dickface is Frank." 

"Uh, thanks, I guess?" 

Woah.

Someone had- SOMEONE HAD ACTUALLY FUCKING LISTENED TO GERARD.

First time for everything, I guess.

"Maybe hangout with us later. Sun's comin' up.", Frank said.

They both got up and started walking somewhere, maybe to their dorms.

Jamia splashed a puddle and got Frank's pants wet.

"Uh, thanks, bye, seeya later?", Gerard yelled to them.

Jamia gave him a peacesign from behind.

God, Ray was gonna fuckin love this. Gerard Way, Professional Couples Therapist? Possibly.


	2. Weed, Karaoke, Average Nights with Frank & Jamia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What else can I say? It gets pretty wild here.

The first thing Gerard heard that morning was Ray's voice.

"GERARD! Wake up! Poetry at 8:30 am dude, I thought you've gotten used to this already." Ray was shaking him to wake up. Gerard was a pretty heavy sleeper, when Mikey and him were kids, he blared an airhorn and Gerard still didn't wake.

"Guess it's my curse for choosing such early classes." He groaned in his Weird-Frog-Slash-Demon morning voice.

Gerard slowly got out of bed, and threw the milky white sheets on top of the bed lazily. He couldn't be bothered to actually make his bed right now. 

Ray was still fixing his hair. It took him around 20 minutes to make it look actually decent , since he had mega-thick curly hair. "A blessing, and a curse.", he always called it.

Gerard went looked in the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair a few times. "Good enough.", he thought. He took off his pajamas and put on a Misfits sweatshirt from Junior year in high school, and some beaten up jeans.

"It's 7:00 am. You better run to the showers." Ray told him, as he also got dressed.

Gerard fucking hated the showers at Rutgers. Even though they had those little fabric curtains to protect everyone from seeing your actual naked ass, it still felt as if he was exposed.

He went on down anyway. While he was showering, he liked to listen to what people at the sinks were talking about. Usually "he said, she said" bullshit. 

"Wait. Isn't that from a Limp Bizkit song?", Gerard thought out loud. 

"Who the fuck said that?", said some guy in a Preppy-Jocky-Douche voice, as he walked out of the showers.

Gerard waited till he was gone (for sure), and dried up . He brushed in teeth in only 6 seconds, and got dressed once again.

While he was walking back to the dorm to get his stuff, he bumped into Jamia from last night.

"Oh, hey kid." she said nonchalantly. "What's your name again?"

Gerard was amazed she came up to her that calm. They've known each other for like, what, 5 hours? 

"It's Gerard, thanks. What happened with Frank?", he asked her.

Jamia sighed. "We broke up. It's chill though, we gonna stay friends."

Gerard smiled. "That's good."

"Wanna hang out after school? My last class is at 5 pm, and yours?" Jamia gave him a sly smirk.

"S-Sure," he stuttered. "Last class is at 3:40 for me."

"Coolness! You can meet me at my dorm, let me write it on your hand." 

Jamia got out a pen from thin air, and wrote down her room number on his hand.

She ran down the hall while saying, "See ya there!"

Woah. Actual friends besides Bert, his brother, and Ray? Gerard almost wanted to pinch himself.

He went to Poetry instead.

\--

Gerard ran on down to the room, and plopped in his seat. His was amazingly scared to show his new poem to Mrs. Miller. Gabe tapped his back. 

"Hey, Bojita, why so nervous?" 

Gabe just loved using Spanish words on Gerard that he didn't know.

"What the hell is a Bojita? It better not mean fag, or I'm gonna be pissed.", Gerard turned around to talk to him, and he had his iconic shit-eating grin smacked on his face.

Gabe laughed. "Don't be a fucking idiot, it means Kid", Gabe replied.

Gerard wasn't very impressed by this. "We're the same age, assclown." 

Mrs. Miller walked into the room while everyone was chatting like it was some party. 

She didn't look very joyful, but then again, she never really looked happy to begin with.

"I hope everyone has this week's assignment finished.", she said, in a stern, cold, voice. 

You could hear a pin drop in that goddamned room, because everyone knows that you do not mess with Mrs. Miller.

Gerard handed in his poem. She read it, inspected it, stared at it. 

"Good work, Mr. Way.", she said, and she smiled, holy fucking SHIT, Mrs.Miller smiled, for the first time in her career probably. 

Gerard was happy as a pig in shit right now, practically bouncing off walls, mostly because,

1\. Hanging out with Jamia and Frank, who seemed 100x cooler than him.

2\. Mrs. Miller smiled, for the first time ever.

3\. Mrs. Miller liked his poem.

"Thank you God. Or Gods. Or whatever, who's ever up there playing The Sims.", Gerard muttered to himself, almost shedding tears of joy.

\---

The clock hit 3:40 pm. 

Last class, Art History.

Everyone was rushing towards the door, and so was Gerard. He needed to get to his dorm to finish his new painting (based on the poem he had just written), and also get ready for actually hanging out with someone for the first time since 7th Grade.

Gerard honestly liked Art History, even though they never mentioned Da Vinci was hella gay. Or that Van Gogh was mentally ill. But you know, gotta keep it Nice And Straight and shit.

Gerard ran back to his dorm and flopped on the bed with his laptop. Ray wasn't here yet, his last class ended at 4:30 pm, and he was visiting some friends after that. He opened up Spotify and put his music of shuffle, without headphones, and blasted it while singing along.

This is usually what he did while left alone in the dorm.

(That, and jack off, but y'know, this is PG-13.)

He browsed through Tumblr, and suddenly it was 5:12 pm already, so Gerard decided to hurry on up to Jamia's room.

He looked at his hand while walking through the halls, and finally found her room. The TV was blaring, so he guessed Jamia was already settled in.

He knocked, and Jamia opened the door, and it let out a loud creak.

"Come on in, buddy.", Jamia welcomed him. Frank was sitting on the edge of her bed, and they were both watching The Eric Andre Show.

Gerard wasn't really a fan of that, but maybe because he only watched it when he was stoned at 4 am.

"Yoo! Gee! Can I call you that? Sit down!", Frank balked at him.

He sat down and watched with them, and they all shared some popcorn.

"So, how was y'all's classes?", he asked them.

"It was okay. William wouldn't fuck off though. He's kind of annoying.", she replied. 

Frank rolled his eyes. "Come on! Williams not that bad of a dude."

Gerard has no idea who William was, honestly. But I guess he didn't know a lot of people in here. He grabbed another fist of popcorn.

Frank looked at him. "Well, how was it for you, Gee?" 

Gerard was probably gonna talk for hours and hours about how fucking amazing his day was, but instead he said, "Pretty rad, the teacher liked my poem, I finished my new painting, and I'm hanging out with you guys." He smiled.

"Aw, thanks." , Jamia said.

They watched tv for about 15 more minutes.

"Anyone wanna get high and do karaoke?", Frank suggested out of nowhere.

Jamia looked at him like he was God.

Gerard looked at him like he was Jeffery Dahmer and Gerard was a victim in some dark room. 

"HELL FUCKING YES, I DO !", Jamia yelled. 

Gerard was a bit confused about this. Was this just a normal thing for them? His expression was daze, but when Frank said, "Heyyyyy, yes or nooooo??", Gerard snapped out.

It sounded fun anyways. "Uh, yeah, sure!"

\--

Jamia came back 30 minutes later with a bag full of weed, and a new shiny glass bong.

Oh god.

\--

They were all pretty banged up by now, and they had already butchered about 3 songs.

Gerard hadn't done weed in quite a while, but he felt great, almost like he was floating.\

Frank and Jamia were smiling like a serial killer.

Jamia jumped on the bed, and shook both Frank and Gerard off the bed.

She screamed, "YOOOO, Gerard! It's time for you to pick the next", She burped. "SONGGG!"

Gerard grabbed her laptop and looked at his options. He choose "Bullet with Butterfly Wings".

Frank laughed, and fist bumped him. "Gooood choice, my mans!"

He screamed into the microphone, while Jamia and Frank laughed their asses off.

"DESPITE ALL MY RAGEGEGEG, I AM STILL JUSTA RAT IN A CAGE-E-E", Gerard screamed-slash-singed, completely out of key. If Billy Corgan was here now, he'd slap him in the face.

After the song was done, he fell on the bed, and they stopped singing for a while, and just had some Woah-Im-Fucking-High conversations.

At some point Gerard blacked out, but he couldn't remember when.


	3. Pete and Mikey, Emo Power Couple!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard finds out Mikey has a new lover, and everyone somehow finds it scandalous.

Alicia was, needless to say, pissed.

She was wrapped up in about 10 blankets in her bed, almost like a Human Burrito. The reason why?

Her ex.

Dating another one of her fucking exes.

\--

Gerard knew that, no matter what happens, he would always be the brother of That Cool Kid.

Mikey was extremely popular in high school, and it seemed like that popularity followed him straight into uni. Of course, he instantly made friends with Lindsey Ballato, who most men would be downright afraid to confront. He was also friends with Jimmy and Gabe, and mostly, Gabe only talked to him because he was Mikey's brother. (which wasn't really that crazy.)

Gerard showered, got dress, and walked to class as usual. But today, something was.....off.

People stared at him. Whispered in someone else's ears while he walked by.

What the fuck had happened? Gerard was absolutely not some Kardashian with a new leaked sex tape. 

Gerard walked into Gabe while walking to poetry.

"Gerard, you okay? I'm sorry about wha-"

Gerard stopped him right there.

"About what? Why is everyone lookin' at me weird?" Gerard asked him, obviously annoyed and confused. 

Gabe bit his lip. "Your brothers datin' Pete Wentz."

You know how in the cartoons, a character's jaw drops super low? Gerard felt like he was doing that right now.

"Pete?" Gerard had heard of him before. He got yelled at by a teacher for starting some sort of food fight. "God, why's everyone so dramatic about it?"

He looked at the shorter man. "Pete's not as popular as Mikey. Lindsey is like Zeus, and Mikey is Hera. Pete is a minor deity no one cares about."

Gerard was truly angry at this point. "Oh come on, are people that stupid?"

Gabe took a slow sip from his Jamba Juice, and dramatically put on sunglasses. 

"Yeah. People are that stupid. Welcome to Rutgers."

He walked away without looking back, like something had just exploded behind him, and he was trying to look cool. 

\--

After classes had ended, Gerard ran on up to Mikey's dorm.

He knocked.

And knocked again.

And again.

"No reply,", thought Gerard. "Probably at some idiotic party with Lindsey."

He wasn't gonna lie though, Lindsey was badass. She was all red lipstick, backbends, and an aura that screamed "You're out of my league." She was nearly a goddess to this school.

Gerard sat and waited in the hallway for his brother to come back, but then he felt his phone vibrate in his pants. A text from an unknown number.

"Text from 201-575-8778: PLZ COME TO MY DORM RN...URGENT!!!!!"

Gerard replied: "who is this. ill come when you tell me. also tell me your dorm room."

"201-575-8778: Its Alicia. Im in room 366."

Gerard knew Alicia pretty well, but he wouldn't call them best friends. She had previously dated Mikey last year.

He ran on down to her room anyway, and knocked on the door. She opened the door almost instantly. "Ya hear about Pete and Mikey?", she asked him, and she was already in her pajamas at 6:00 pm. 

"Yeah, I did. It's no big deal to me."

Alicia felt like screaming at him. "DUDE. They're both my fucking exes."

Gerard shrugged. "So what? At least they're happy. I mean, I'm happy for him, I guess."

She sighed. "I don't know. It's just weird. I feel like I'm gonna be known as The Slut Who Dated Both Of Em now."

"Oh come on, I didn't hear anyone say something about you. You're okay."

\----

Gerard had a biology essay due on Monday, at 9:40 am.

It was 8:45 pm, Sunday.

His report was supposed to be about the future of the science world, so he decided to do an essay on rewriting human DNA. It had to be 12 pages, and so far, he had written one. 

Gerard had already given up. He decided to just fail the essay and go to bed. He wasn't really doing that bad in biology anyway, why couldn't he just cut some slack for a while?

He went on his laptop, turned on some music, and daydreamed on top of his bed.

Mostly about Frank, but he couldn't really admit that.

He didn't really have a crush on him, or anything. He was just cute. Attractive. Aesthetically pleasing.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

Someone banged loudly on his door, and he jerked up to pause his music. He rubbed his eyes, the lights from the computer had hurt it. It was Lindsey.

Gerard wanted to pinch himself. Lindsey? At his actual door? Very, very, unlikely.

"Okay, Gerald, I wanna set some rules with you." she said, inviting herself in, and plopping down in the bottom of him and Ray's bunk bend.

"It's-it's Gerard, actually." he stuttered. "Is this about Pete and Mikey?"

She took a cigarette pack from her pocket, took one out, and lit it. She took a drag, looked at him, and said, "Yes. It is."

He swallowed. Had he done something wrong? Did he say the wrong thing to Gabe earlier?

She took out a piece of notebook paper from her purse, and handed it to him.

"These are the rules," she told him. "Read them, follow them, whatever."

She walked out the door, and slammed it shut.

He figured he might as well read what she had wrote. He opened up the paper, which had been wrinkled by her jean pocket.

It read:

"1. Don't try to pry Mikey and Pete apart.

2\. No rumors about them.

3\. Don't tell weird secrets to Pete about him."

"Okay, fair enough.", he thought.

Why would he ever do that shit anyway?

\---

Gerard was almost half asleep, when yet, another person knocked at his door.

He opened the door. It was Frank. And Jamia. And Ray.

"What up, Gee, wanna watch The Shining?", Ray asked.

Frank showed him the DVD and smiled.

"Yeah, sure!", Gerard replied.

Jamia plopped on his bed, and slid the DVD into the TV.

"Oh yeah, we got popcorn in here, too.", Jamia told them, holding up her bag.

"So, anything rad today?", Ray asked.

"I don't know, my brother and Pete Wentz have became some sort of Emo Power Couple."

Jamia fell back laughing from that. "Oh god, what is Mikey, Gabriel the Messenger? Or like, Lindsey's wingman?"

Ray was the only one scared by the movie.

"Oh god, the hallways in here look like the hallways outside at night. I hate this so much, why did you bring this goddamn movie?", Ray exclaimed to all of them.

They didn't really seem to care, they were havin' a good time, fuck it.

In the movie, Wendy grabbed a knife when she heard Jack outside the door. He got his axe, and broke the door. He peeked through the hole he had made, and said "Hereees Johnny!", in that horribly ecstatic voice. Wendy let out a piercing scream.

Ray was covering his eyes with the blankets. He jumped as soon as Jack broke the door.

They all laughed at him, for a few moments.

"Don't be a pussy, Ray. It's justa movie.", Frank said to him. Gerard didn't know if that was supposed to be comforting for him. 

Gerard fell asleep before the movie even ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapters shit FGHJK....it gets better next time i swear y"all !!


	4. Soggy Paper Boats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard struggles a bit with college, and Mikey disconnects a bit from Lindsey.

Gerard did the same thing he did everyday.

Wake up, change, shower, etc.

It was around 2:30 pm now, so he went over to Biology. He plopped in his seat, and waited for his grade on his report.

The teacher didn't look so happy when she handed Gerard his report.

"A big fat F, I don't really know what else I expected." He sighed.

After classes were over, he ran back to his dorm, and left a voicemail for Mikey about him and Pete. He opened up his laptop, and went straight to the school website to check his grades.

Holy fucking shit. Gerard was on the brink of failing three subjects?

Okay so, it turns out, you can't just skip your work when you feel like it. Maybe after that one Biology report, it became a habit or something. It was okay, right?

Then a new assignment popped up.

Your Grade: 47/100

"You've got to be shitting me right now." he groaned, and fell on the bed.

This was bad. Really fuckin' bad.

\----

Pete stepped out of Mikey's room and into the hallway. It was a bit cold, so he tugged up his hoodie. He gave Mikey a quick kiss on the cheek.

Mikey always blushed a lot. He felt his face go red at that moment. His phone buzzed in his pocket, so he went to pull it out. He checked who was calling. It was his brother, Gerard.

He pressed accept, and said, "Hey, Gee."

"Oh, uh, hey Mikey. I just wanted to call you to say that, uh, I don't mind that you're dating Pete or whatever. It's cool with me. Okaybye."

He hung up.

Well, that was quick.

\--

Gerard decided to go straight to Frank's dorm. The hallways were as eerie as usual. It always felt like he was going to get squashed, since it was so long and narrow. The floorboards creaked. He made it up to his room, and knocked on the door.

"Hey, Frank. I need serious help."

Frank jerked up from his bed, like Gabe had just slapped him on the neck, and called him "Puta!"

"What? Did you do cocaine? Your Mom died? I'd rather you did cocaine than your mother dying, bu-"

Gerard stopped him right there. "No, idiot. I'm about to fail two subjects, and if I do fail one of them, I'm gonna get kicked the hell out of this school."

Frank sat up, and sighed. "I don't know, dude. The only way to really fix it is put the most effort you can into your work. So like, no more half-assing your projects. "

He hated what Frank said, because he was right.

"Ugh, really?"

Frank rolled his eyes. "They rejected Jesus' message because he told the fucking truth."

Gerard know his thoughts were completely irrelevant to what was actually going on, but, holy shit. Him and Frank alone in a room? 

Frank turned on the small TV in his dorm. A True Crime show was on.

On March 6, 1995, Amedure was taped for an episode of The Jenny Jones Show, in which he admitted to being a secret admirer of Jonathan Schmitz...

"Oh damn," Frank began, staring at the TV. "Wasn't that-Ain't that the guy who got shot because of the Jenny Jones Show or something?"

Gerard never even heard of that story, but it gave him chills. "I guess."

He didn't pay attention to the show, but Frank was totally absorbed in it.

He glanced over at his bed stand. There was two bottles of pills, and another bottle of a liquid.

He tapped him. "Hey, what are those for?"

Frank looked back at what his was pointing at. "Stomachaches. Ear infections. Antidepressants."

Oh.

For some reason, that gave Gerard an uneasy vibe. I mean, Frank did look okay, but now he was afraid of him relapsing or something.

He didn't want to think about that right now, though, so he at least tried to focus on the show.

\----

Lindsey Ballato hated this fucking party.

It wasn't the loud music, or the fact that they only had beer, it was that Mikey wasn't even here.

The entire house was crowded, and she tried to push through people to get to her friends, Gabe and Jimmy. Times she had been groped since arriving: 7.

She finally got over to Gabe, and took a sip of her drink. "Fuck these dumbass college boys. Don't know how to act right."

Gabe nodded. "You gave Gerard the rules thing right?" 

Lindsey bopped around to some dumb music, and replied to him, "Yeah, and he better follow them, or I'll just kick his ass."

She looked around the room again. Still no Mikey. 

"Have any of you guys seen Mikes?" Jimmy and Gabe nodded no. 

"I'll call him outside, wait here."

She walked over to the door, while pushing dumb drunk kids out of her way, and finally made it to the backyard. She got out a pack of cigarettes, took one, and lit it. She aimlessly blew smoke out into the red setting sun, and the pink sky. 

Lindsey dialed up Mikey's phone. "Yo, Mikey, where the hell are you at? We've been at this party for like 2 hours, and you still haven't shown up."

She could hear him sigh from her phone. "I'm at Pete's dorm. We're watching a movie. You don't have to drag me to every single party. Bye."

He hung up.

Was Mikey kidding her? He was her wingman, her right-hand man, her fucking go-to. Was he really going to ditch her for his stupid new boyfriend like that?

She could get Gerard to pry him here. Maybe next time she'll try out that trick.

She stubbed out her cigarette and went back inside.

 

\-----

Gerard was working so hard on this poem, it felt like his eyes were going to bleed. He knew he had to follow what Frank said, no more half-assed work.

It was actually coming out good so far.

"You dipped your toes into the darkness,

As if to test if it was cold,

And I knew right when you shivered,

You were more scared than you had told"

A bit emo, Gerard thought, but aren't all poems supposed to be like that? Sappy and emo?

"I wrote my words into a life ring,

Something to keep your world afloat,

But compared to the strength of your nightmare,

They were just soggy paper boats"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING YESTERDAY I WAS TIRED AS FUCK...enjoy tho


	5. Hermit the Frog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> godd sorry for not updating for the past 3 days i spilled water on my macbook and its dead so i had to spend like an hour trying to fix it hhh still broke tho, anyways enjoy this chapter

Gerard was confident this poem was going to save his grade for Poetry. He basically skipped like some happy bunny to class and went to his seat, smiling like an idiot.

Gabe didn't know what there was to be all giddy about. He groaned loudly, just so that Gerard would hear and ask him what's up.

Of course, he did hear him. Half of the fucking class did. He turned around, and asked him, "Why so grumpy today?"

He sighed. "After your brother started dating He Who Shall Not Be Named he doesn't want to do anything with us."

Gerard was completely confused. Mikey, Lindsey, Gabe, and Jimmy always stuck together like super glue, even if they had new friends like Frances or Ryland. They were almost like the Fantastic Four, one never seen without the other 3.

He had met Pete 3 months ago, and he's ditching them for people he's known way longer than that. It seemed so out of character for him.

"You want me to go talk to him about why he's being so weird?", he asked Gabe. 

He nodded.

The teacher walked in, and he went over and gave his new poem to her. She glanced and it and said nothing. "Is that bad?", he thought. He was sure that poem was fucking fantastic, he'd put literal blood, sweat, and tears into it. He'd already gotten out of almost failing Poetry, so one bad grade could tip him over.

After classes, he went to check his grades on his laptop. He kept refreshing.

\--

Mikey was getting tired of checking his notifications every 5 minutes. Gabe, Jimmy, and Lindsey had been spamming him all day about him not wanting to hang out anymore.

He phone buzzed again.

"New Message from L-y-n-Z: Everyone just wants to know why you're being a hermit. That's all."

"New Message from JIMMMMMY: CAN U JUST HANG OUT WITH US 2DAY"  
He was getting amazingly annoyed. God, he just wanted to spend some time away from them. It's not like he hated them, or anything, he just needed a break. From the parties, from getting drunk every fucking Saturday, from his ear drums ringing all the way into Tuesday. It was just tiring, that's all. But obviously, they couldn't fucking understand that he actually had a life besides them.

He laid down on his bed and daydreamed. He was completely out of it until someone knocked at his door.

He jumped out of bed and went to go check who was there. "If it's Lindsey, I'm not interested. Go away."

He opened the door, and saw Gerard. "Uh, hey Mikey."

He sat back down on the bed. "What're you here for?"

Gerard already heard that he probably didn't want to talk about Lindsey and stuff, but he knew he had to bring it up anyways. 

"I just wanted to know why you're always spending all your time with Pete now."

Mikey sighed. "I don't know. He's fun to be around, and he gets depressed when he's alone. I jus- I just don't want him to feel like that. And feel like it's my fault. And I just needed a break from all the parties me and Lindsey go to. They're tiring over time." He thought that saying what was on his mind to other people made him feel horrible.

Gerard nodded, like he understood. "You want me to go tell em that?"

He nodded yes. 

"Also," Gerard began. "If Pete's depressed alone, it's not your fault. He should get help himself. Maybe you should tell him that."

He felt like Pete was going to lash out of him for that, but he agreed anyway.

Gerard said goodbye, and shut his door. 

\--

He walked on over to Lindsey's dorm. It felt weird, going inside. Like he was invading, or that he needed some special ID to walk inside. He knocked on the door. She opened up.

"Hey, I talked to Mikey."

"Good."

She sat down on a small couch she had in her room, and patted the seat, telling him to sit down.

"So, what did he say?"

"He said that Pete gets depressed alone and he doesn't want him to feel like that," he began. "And, that the parties and like, getting drunk every weekend is tiring to him."

She inhaled, exhaled deeply. Okay, it made sense right? She couldn't like, beat him down and give him alcohol poisoning or whatever, she had no reason to be mad.

Deep down, she was a little mad, though.

\--

Gerard walked back to his dorm, and Ray was on his top of the bed, reading a book.

"Hey bro.", Ray greeted him.

He said hi back, and then grabbed his laptop and went on his bunk. He clicked on Poetry. And silently prayed iars it loaded.

"Your Grade: 0/100"

Okay.

What.

The.

FUCK.

He checked the teacher's notes on his poem, and it said he plagiarized. 

That snapped in his head instantly. He realized his poem sounded almost exact to another poem they'd read in class at the beginning of the year. God, he felt so fucking stupid. This ticked down his grade another 4 points, and now he wasn't even on the brink of failing, he was failing. He stuffed his pillow into his face, and cried. Ray didn't hear him. 

He fell asleep like that, face smooshed onto pillow.

\---

Frank was tired as hell.

He hadn't actually exercised, or whatever. He literally just masturbated. 

Did I get your hopes up? Sorry, It's disappointing, I know.

But still, holy shit, Gerard. He kinda felt weird doing you-know-what to him, but who cares, no one would really ever know. I guess it's almost like a dirty secret. Is it that dirty though? Whatever- Frank wanted to go to the bar with Jamia.

(Yes, he knew he was underage. But who cares, Ryland got them free fake IDS.)

He texted Jamia and Gerard to see if they wanted to go. They both replied yes.

\--

Frank drove both of them over to the bar, and they sang along to dumb songs on the radio.

"Wait, I don't have an ID or whatever." , Gerard told him.

"It's okay, he'll see us with you and just think you're over 21."

They all just got drinks and talked. Gerard liked it, it felt calm. It let him take his mind off that stupidass poem he copied, and Mikey, and whatever else.

He finally forgot to worry, for a bit.


	6. The Chapter Where Gerard Ignores His Problems, and Also Does Gay Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get drunken and emotional! time for gay shit

Gerard was drunk, for the first time in his life. He was giggling all over the fucking place, and basically talking to anyone who entered the bar.

Frank and Jamia would help, but I mean, they were both hammered way before Gerard was.

He was flirting with people he barely even knew, and tripping over things that shouldn't even be able to be tripped on.

Frank was always really fucking stupid when drunk, doing things that he would probably slap himself for.

Needless to say, yes, he was about to do something amazingly stupid.

He got up on a stool, got on the counter of the bar, and, over the sound of the bartender yelling at him, he screamed, "YO! What the FUCK IS UP, I'm Frank, and uh, fuck- what was I going to say? Oh fuck right, yeah, I'm Frank and I'm fuckingbisexualbitch!!!"

He screamed so loud, people from the McDonald's next door could probably hear him.

Gerard pumped his fist in the air and yelled, "Yeah! Fuck yeah Frank! Fucking gay people!"

About 5 people screamed "GAY PEOPLE!" along with him. 

Jamia was the kind of "Intellectual" drunk. She stood up from her seat, and declared to the bar, "Hey! A toast to wesbians! I mean uh- LESBIAMS!!!!!"

Another 3 people screamed "WESBIAM!"

Frank got down from the stool and pushed his way to Gerard and Jamia, and whispered in his ear, "Dudeee, doyouwanna go down to the Mickey D's like right nexttous? I wanna do some ape shit."

He giggled and said "Hoyeah!"

And of course, Jamia also agreed, because she was, y'know, Jamia.

All of them practically ran out to the McDonald's. They opened the door and people starred at them. Maybe because they were tripping and giggling and slurring their words.

"Yooooooo," Frank said to the order gal. "Can I get a fuckin', uh, beesechurger? With like, 2, umFantas?" She looked at them, but took their order anyway. 

They all got a table, and let me tell you, Frank and Gee were doing some gay shit, and the customers especially didn't like this. I mean, who cares, the workers just kept on fucking working like, "Yep, same crap as always."

It wasn't like, fondling or kissing or anything, literally just flirty remarks and maybe stupid kisses on the cheek. Jamia thought it was hilarious. 

Their order finally came, and about 3 Angry Catholic Mothers had already left with their children. Gerard grabbed his Fanta, went up to the counter, jumped up on it, and stomped.

"LET'S MCFREAKIN LOSE IT!", he yelled, while pouring the sugary drink on himself. Jamia and Frank were dying on laughter.

"GET OUTTA YO MIN-" 

A worker grabbed him by the leg and shoved him off the counter.

Actually, it wasn't even a fucking worker, it was the boss.

The boss came up to all 3 of them and started having a temper tantrum right in the middle of the restaurant, causing more people to leave then Frank and Gerard's gay shit.

They sat outside, on the sidewalk, with Gee dripping in soft drink. 

"Yaknowhat.", Jamia began. "Call a fucking Uber. I wannago home."

And they all agreed.

\--

Gerard decided to stay in Frank's dorm, but Jamia went off to her own.

Being drunk actually felt good in a way. He had more confidence, and he didn't have to think about all the things that kept him up at night. 

They laid on his bed and told stories, instead of watching brain-numbing TV. 

They laughed, and just had a good time. They didn't have to focus about school or whatever bullshit.

Gerard fell asleep on his bed, and Frank decided that was sign that he should sleep too.

\--

He woke up with Gerard's head on his chest, and his first immediate thought was , "Oh my god, am I still dreaming?" 

His body was so warm, and his arms were around his waist. It looked like his brain thought that Gerard and him were lovers while they slept.

Frank tried to get up, but by accident, woke him up.

He smiled, and greeted him, saying, "Oh, g'morning Frank."

He stood himself up, but Gerard just proped himself on his arms, staying in his bed.

He could kiss him now. He really, really could.

"Did you remember last night? We got drunk." He wasn't sure if Gee remembered, but his drunk memory was almost crystal clear.

"No, not really."

The morning sun shone from his small window, slightly blinding Frank. He went over to him and stared into his eyes. God, his heart was beating so fast right now, could Gerard feel it? Gee thought something was in his eye, but once he looked back at him, he found it hard to look away.

Frank loved his long-ish hair. And his big, brown eyes, they way the sun made them glow up like a lantern. He had no idea what he was doing. What if he wanted to just stay friends?

Gerard got up, and stood in front of him. He smiled, and blushed. He ran his hand over his cheek, and commented, "Hmm, your skins really smooth."

Frank's expression was intense, and he almost thought he was mad for a second. Before Gerard could even finish that thought, Frank leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips. 

Frank didn't taste like anyone he had known before. He tasted like cherry chap-stick, which probably explained how his lips were so soft and pillow-like.

He pulled away from him.

"Wow- That was-uh, that was, I mean, something else.", Frank exclaimed, sitting down on the bed, practically shaking.

He smiled. "I liked that. I mean, I like you. I like your lips." Gerard kissed him again.

\--

Gerard practically fucking pranced into Mikey's dorm. He knocked on his door, and he could hear him groan "Come innn."

He ran over to him and laughed.

"What? Why are you so Sunshine-and-Rainbow-y?"

He smiled from ear to ear. "I kissed someone! I like, fucking did it!"

Mikey almost screamed. "Wait? YOU KISSED SOMEONE???"

He ironically sang "For The First Time In Forever"

Gerard shoved him. "Oh come on, you're so fucking mean."

"Anywhoooo," Mikey said with a smirk. "Who was it?"

"Frankkkkkkk", he said like a giddy grade-schooler.

"Woah, I thought you two were friends or something."

He laughed. "Wellll, I guess not anymore."

\---

It was Sunday night, and for his new Poetry assignment, he decided to write a poem about something soppy, like the ocean. How could he get a bad grade on something like that? He got out his Macbook and began writing.

It shines with poise,

it's sound drowns out all of the noise inside my head,

all the fear and dread,

i come down to see it,

with it's waves like the ruffles of an elegant gown.

"Easy fucking A.", he thought out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ghfdjsk i actually cried while writing this...lmao hope u enjoy anyway


	7. Short Update, Big Regrets!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise ill actually update tomorrow but here take this

Frank was royally fucked.

He honestly didn't know why he kissed him, he just did. He was still drunk the next morning, for fuck's sake. He knew that since he only remembered about half of yesterday.

His hangover today felt even worse than ever. It was usually just a little vomit and headaches, but now it felt like a migraine, and he was throwing up a lot fucking more.

He was draped over the toilet, the disgusting smell of vomit and possibly shit filling up his whole dorm. He could just play hooky today. 

He tired to push himself up from the floor for about 5 minutes, until he actually did it. Brushed his teeth, got a cup of water, drank it. He opened up his cabinet and took one Aspirin. 

There was no way he was doing anything today. He slowly walked to his bed and turned on his tv. The Today Show, decent enough.

He'd smoke, but he was all out of weed, and he was pretty sure Aspirin and weed mixed together wasn't something he'd like to try out.

Someone banged on his door. He got up to open it, and it was Jamia.

She ran right in without invitation, which Frank let her do anyways. "Hey man, you weren't at class so I just decided to hang out with you to see what's up." 

He gave her a weak smile. It was all he could manage.

She opened up his curtains to let the sunlight in, but he grimaced at the sight of it.

"Oh shit, hangover huh?" He nodded.

She paused for a few seconds in thought, then said, "Wait, but we were drinking like 2 days ago,"

"Were you drunk yesterday?"

He cringed at the thought of it, but he still had to say yes.


	8. Angels Fuck, Devils Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I'm saying is that, you should have tissues with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating for literally a week, ive been binging shameless lmaoo. ik this chapters shorter than others but its all i could manage for today.

Gerard practically ran to Frank's dorm, full of excitement. He walked in without asking, as he usually did, but Frank was lying on his bed, his eyes red like he had been crying, with some Aspirin next to him.

He sat down on his bed, and asked him "Hey Frank, what happened?"

Frank did not want to tell him the truth. It would practically shatter him. But keeping a secret was worse, he was horrible at that. It would eventually slip out, so it was now or too soon.

"I need to tell you something. About yesterday."

He nodded, signaling him to continue his train of thought.

"When I woke up the day after we got drunk, I was still drunk. Oh my god, Gerard, I just- I really didn't mean to do that. I mean, It's a bit brownish, but if you didn't like it I'm-"

He was transfixed by what had just come out of his mouth. He didn't just feel like his heart had been broken, no, it was kicked, ran over with a truck, fucking demolished. 

Slowly, Gerard felt his despair mutate into pure anger. Maybe it was the heat of the moment kind of thing, but he slapped him right on the cheek. He couldn't tell if he meant it or not.

"Gerard! What the hell is wrong with you!", he yelled, rubbing his cheek, trying to soothe the impact.

He got up , and yelled, "You know what? Fuck you!"

Frank felt like he was about to cry, but between him trying to get rid of the lump in his throat, he told him, "Please- Wait, let me fix i-"

" You will never make it better! It will always hurt , you fucking asshole!"

\--

Mikey found himself in yet another one of Lindsey's parties. But this time, he wasn't inside with everyone else, drinking and having fun, he was here, on the roof with Lindsey. They both took slow sips of their drinks in silence, occasionally saying a few words to each other. The sky was a light lavender, and the owner of the house had a swing set that swayed back and fourth in the wind, making a slightly annoying creaking noise. 

"I get what you said. About the parties."

He nodded. "Finally, I guess"

\--

Gerard stormed into his room, and slammed the door. Ray was on the floor, writing something. His eyes were red, obviously from the crying. He went to his bed, and checked his grades. 89 for that last poem, at least something was good.

"What's up with you?", Ray asked him, worried.

He let out an angered moan and said "Wouldn't fucking understand, Ray. God."

He was acting like a total bitch, he flinched when people were nice. And he was pretty sure anyone could notice it. It was Monday, but he decided he was going to skip classes tomorrow and just hang out around town. Hopefully won't get shot or something. Probably take a train to Branch Brook Park. Who the fuck needed Frank?

\--

Now, remember when Frank said he was royally fucked in the last chapter? Complete misunderstanding, he was MEGA fucked. Not only had he practically gotten out a sledgehammer and broke him into pieces, but Gerard hated him now. I guess there was truth in his words, he really would never make it better.

Now, let me show you Frank's Big List of Reasons on Why That Kiss Was a Mistake

1\. Frank didn't even know he liked dudes, but there's a first time for everything

2\. He was D-R-U-N-K

3\. That's all

4\. He lied, but anyways if his parents found out he'd be 100% dead

Well I guess those weren't valid reasons for Gerard. 

He managed to gather up the energy to get out of bed to see himself in his mirror. Wow, he looked like hot shit. I guess fresh regret and hangovers isn't a good look on anyone. It was about 2 months until summer, anyway, so after that, guess what? He didn't have to see Gerard for the whole summer. He could just listen to music in his trashy bedroom at home and stare at the Misfits posters he put on his ceiling.

He lit a smoke, inhaled, exhaled. I guess some things never fail to come someone down. Suddenly, someone was banging at his door, as if they were the FBI and Frank had just been caught down in his meth lab.

He opened up, and oh shit, it was Mikey.

"What the hell did you do to him, Frank? I was going to visit him but all I can hear is him fucking sobbing from the door."

He scoffed. "How do you know it was me?"

"Oh my god, you're literally one of the few people who hang out with him! Who else?"

Frank wanted to pull at his hair. "Just get out and go talk to him, or something."

Mikey rolled his eyes, but did what he said anyway, and walked out.

**Author's Note:**

> aaah hope yall like this lil prologue! i wrote this yesterday but forgot to post on here, so the first chapter is coming up today also!!


End file.
